As I survey the vast array of One Direction merchandising, it kinda reminds me of the running Simpson's joke about Krusty the Clown and his endorsements. If you've seen some of the early Simpsons episodes, you'll know that Krusty has stamped his name on cereal with metal spikes, pregnancy kits and a number of other amusing/dangerous products.
Fortunately, the 1D products are safe for use, but some of the items are a little quirky. Indulge me as I list my fave double-take 1D merchandising.
1D Girl Talk Game
I remember owning the original Girl Talk game as a tween (yes I'm that old). It was about slumber parties and lipgloss. I can't imagine what this would be about, and sadly I don't think I'll ever find out because even if I bought it, no-one would ever play it with me.
The 1D SkateboardI never wanted to stand on the face of the guy I was fan-girling---I'd wear his handsome mug on my t-shirt, hang it on my wall, and carry it around on my notebooks or bag, but it was too sacred to stand on. Each to their own I guess.
1D Boom BoxThis is actually a nifty idea. It's only on the list because I can't believe that boom boxes still exist. It's quite a fetching shade of pink with hearts suspended over the boy's heads---might be a good Christmas gift. Wink, wink.
1D Christmas Advent CalendarThis just feels a bit sacrilegious... before you tell me that Disney has been printing their characters faces on Chrissy Advent Calendars for years, I know. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying that eating chocolate out of a boys face is a bit too zombieish. Brains, brains, chocolate Harry brains.... Do you see what I mean?
1D Custom Platform HeelsI don't care that these are ankle breakers, I would totally buy them. Again, walking on a dudes face is not ideal, but have you seen these shoes? They are too cute! Sadly, they are no longer being made. Sad face:(
1D PerfumeThis is not a personal thing against 1D, because the commercial makes me obscenely happy. It's the idea of men marketing fragrances for women. It reminds me of an ogre construction worker yelling out across the work-site, "Hey babe, I want you to smell like this to make me happy." Shudder.
Sorry, but I want to wear a fragrance that makes me happy and if you like it, cool. In my experience, men are not overly concerned with what perfume your sporting, anyway.
I have tested Our Moment, it's pleasant, kinda reminds me of Taylor Swifts perfume. Come to think of it, I'm not a big fan of celebrity fragrances at all.
Look at the picture. Do I really need to say anything else?
I will say, where would you wear it? A 1D concert? Wouldn't it be creepy for the guys performing to be staring into a sea of their disembodied zombie faces on fan-girls and fan-boys?
1D Stick-On NailsI saved the best for last. I love these, and if they weren't so expensive I would so try them on (for 10-minutes, take a photo and then dispose of the evidence). These are just bizarre. I love my husband, but I'd never stick a nail on my finger to tell people and his photo on my middle finger is just...creepy.
If you're not a Harry fan, there's a set with each band members face and name on it. There's even a set with all of them, woohoo (if that's your bag)!
Being able to flip someone off with your beloved's face does hold some appeal, but I miss the button covers they used to have for the original 90210 characters (which I personally thought was a bit stalkerish at the time, but I still wore them).
If you own any of these products or want to, feel free to leave a comment. If you've ever worn the nails please send pics, I'm ubber curious.
Halloween is coming, maybe I should dress up like a fan-girl....
If you love Halloween and live in the USA, remember to enter this awesome contest to win.....
FINNED paperback by Sutton Shields
SILVER TIDES paperback by Susan Fodor
UNTETHERED paperback by Katie Hayoz
WATERPROOF e-copy by Amber Garr
TOUCHING EVIL e-copy by Amber Garr
* True Blood swag from the world famous San Diego Comic-Con:
-1 True Blood red 'Save the Vamps' t-shirt, size L.
-1 True Blood 'It hurts so good' tote bag/backback type bag (NOTE: In the picture, it is filled with bubble wrap so you can see the shape/size more clearly. It will be shipped flat).
-3 rubber bracelets--red, white, and black with 'Save the Vamps' on them.
-1 'It hurts so good' True Blood journal featuring Sookie & Bill
-1 'No one lives forever' True Blood journal
-1 pair of black/red sunglasses; one side has HBO printed on it, the other has True Blood.
-2 sealed bite-shaped bandaids (these are hilarious!)
-6 True Blood collectible lobby cards (these are fun!)